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General / 3D creator demo 3 protest
« on: January 28, 2019, 08:52 pm »

This is a second attempt at a rejected review 2 weeks ago.
First of all I need to flex on y’all that I have the record of 1:56 [B)]

MINECRAFT like but COOLER is a game by Lordofold from 2011 that has 835k views, making it the 2nd most played game on the site. And it probably has exploited views because it only has 29 ratings.
It’s a game based off Minecraft that centers on a mine taken over by thugs.
There’s also a story which goes nowhere.
Let’s delve deeper into this creeper


  This game is big. I don’t mean long and slow big, I just mean large map big. This game has 31 crystals to collect and 30 of them are hidden in the mine section in the game. Due to the short length of the upper section, I’ll focus on that for now.

  The upper section of the game is mostly boring. The gameplay is long and tedious and unnecessarily challenging. For example:
At the start, there is a water section. This water section is long and water in Platformer isn’t very good. Although this is mostly on the creator’s end, Lordofold was the one who put the water there. He also decided to put a brick in the water that you need to walk on to progress, but you can’t jump on it unless you have a laggy computer or mastered the pause exploit because old Platformer Creator was the best ever thing of all time.
See what I mean? Lordofold could have easily used the water as an obstacle that you can AVOID or just skip it altogether. Then there are trees that have inconsistent leaf collision, a lair where your only option is to sword climb, too many enemies, etc etc.

  But there is something that the upper section has that the mine section mostly lacks, and that’s the quality of the graphics. The graphics editor didn’t exist back then let alone in Platformer, so Lordofold had to use the many prefabs at his disposal to create a Minecraft like environment. And, he did pretty well. Sure, the water has random shades of blue in random positions covering the blue water, but the platforms and backgrounds are about spot on from what he had. From the bright look of the upper section you know Lordofold really felt passionate about what he was doing.

  Now we have the mine. The advantage the mine has over the upper section is the size of it. From corner to corner the mine is huge, and by all laws should be pitch black but, like Minecraft, there are many torches placed just close enough to cover the mine with a decent amount of light. But there are some places, just a few, that are completely invisible to the naked eye. This may be a mistake by Lordofold or an intentional design choice used to confuse/mislead the player and cause them to miss important places where crystals are located.
The mine looks… fine, to say the least. I mean, it’s not BAD by any means but it looks kind of dull compared to how fun the mine is to blaze through. It’s just the default black background of the underground, no background cobblestone or anything. Plus, the ‘mine’ only has a 1 block layer of cobblestone throughout, an obvious choice by Lordofold to save hours of time filling in the blanks of the mine but cost the game a much better look than the slim bland dark pathway we got.

  The gameplay was a fun, fast, mediocre looking, sometimes annoying, unintentionally or unnecessarily difficult, okay play. 6/10.


 This story makes no sense and I’m very angry about that. The first look at the story of the game is an easter egg in a secret room in the water. It says: “GWEN COME TO MY HOUSE FROM OLD HENRY”. This signifies a possible relationship between Gwen and Old Henry. Speaking of Old Henry, we need to kill him to get the first crystal in the game. Wait, what? If we kill Old Henry, does that mean…. Okay. I need to start this over and figure this out from start to finish.
So, Old Henry lives in a cave. He left a sign for Gwen in another cave. But Old Henry tried to kill us! He wanted us to get out! He was afraid of us! WE KILLED GWEN AND WE WERE GOING TO KILL OLD HENRY TOO WHICH WE SUCCEEDED IN! It makes sense now. The murder of Gwen was horrible and he knew who was the killer.. us. He tried to kill us in an act of self-defense, trying to defend his crystal which we need for our need for greed. Due to our horrible greed, we kill Old Henry. But this is the first part of the game. What’s next?

  What’s next are the Thugs, the main enemy of the game. From the dialogue the Thugs gave us, we can gather the information needed to assume they have taken over the mine. I also believe Old Henry controlled the Thugs, but they started a revolution and took the mine for themselves. I have come to the conclusion that Old Henry was the former leader of the Thugs because, well, they look the same..?

  This story makes no sense. It’s like a connect-the-dots sheet that is missing two thirds and you need to draw them yourself. It’s a failed attempt at a story. Heck, I got more story out of ‘Diary of a Farting Creeper’ than this, and that book made me isolate myself for 26 years and come back in a time machine to write this. The only confirmed thing I’ve figured out is that the Thugs took over the mine and that Old Henry wants Gwen to come over for something. For a game that looks much better than other Platformer games at the time, Lordofold lacks a storytelling ability. In short, this story would be better off gone. It only distracts the player from their greedy goal. But, I will say that Lordofold gave information that can be tied together with a few new thoughts. At least it’s manageable. 2/10


  This game is fine. It had a great choice of prefabs for the time but the mine lacks creativity, the gameplay is sometimes annoying and unnecessarily difficult but can be mastered and enjoyed for the large area it gives you, the story makes absolutely no sense but it lets me think of ties between events, and the title is very attractive outside of Sploder. Overall, this game gives me a good time speeding through it and collecting the crystals, etc, but, in the end, it’s just a Minecraft fan game on a kids game website that Lordofold made in his spare time, and he couldn’t make Final Fantasy VII, instead he made… Fortnite (hahaha funny joke get it because fortnite takes place on venus apparently hahaha okay). It’s a game I would recommend if you want a good time you can come back to, even if it isn’t great. Wait, that’s the average mobile game!

Gameplay: 6/10
  Quick and fun but not exactly good.
Story: 2/10
  This makes no sense. Why does this story exist?
Graphics/Prefab choice: 6.6/10
  The surface looks great but the mine lacks a lot.

Overall score: 5/10

General / I embedded a moving Sploder game into my signature
« on: January 17, 2019, 08:51 pm »

also don't moderate it the 400s can do that

Debate Tower / why did geoff say diarrhea in worst flavor of oreo
« on: January 15, 2019, 05:20 pm »
debate of the century

General / jhi
« on: January 15, 2019, 03:00 pm »
continue my minions

General / Newspaper name
« on: January 13, 2019, 08:17 pm »
I'm doing a school project involving a newspaper name and I can't think of one
Since you people are the most intelligent people on Earth it only makes sense for me to ask you
It must be very epic

It makes me angry
I will storm the Sploder HQ

Anime & Manga / slurp
« on: January 12, 2019, 04:06 pm »
send me some slobs :P
send to [email protected]
100% my email address totally

First of all I need to flex on y'all that I have the record of 2:58  [B)]

MINECRAFT like but COOLER is about a boy named Lordofold when he made Minecraft in Sploder but he didn't know how so he just placed stuff.
The game is actually about Thugs taking over a mine so you need to stop them by getting crystals underground.
It's very confusing.
Okay now to delve deeper into this creeper


  The game starts with a life heart down below you despite there only being 11 enemies in the game.  There is then a long pool of water (very slow and annoying water) with seemingly random light and dark blue colors over the blue water.  If you trace the bottom (or use radar), you'll find blocks arranged in a stair-like way (probably to mislead people to the surface) that block your path with a secret entrance leading to a story element that goes absolutely nowhere.

  I will give credit that Lordofold tried his hardest to make the platforms look like Minecraft with the resources he had (there was no graphics editor then), and it looks pretty decent, but doing this triggers a bug in Platformer Creator (I don't know if it's still around, or if it was with other blocks) that makes it so you can not jump while a block is underwater.  The block was in the water yet can be touched by the surface thus making the game think the block is underwater and you can't jump on it.  This takes away from the platforming element in this specific area and the only ways to get over it are breaking the block in front of you and moving on to it OR having a very slow computer and using the lag to charge an abnormally high jump.  Lag is very exploitable in Flash.

  The next thing you come across is an old lair that has an enemy in it named Old Henry.  He says he's Old Henry and wants you to leave but instead of being polite he tries to kill you with a spear which is very nice especially towards people a bit sad.  Once you put him to sleep and try to get out, you realize it's a little tricky.  The ladder is one block lower than possible using intended physics and the only 2 ways to get out are to use your sword when on the ladder to get a fling upwards or, again, having a very slow computer and using the lag to charge an abnormally high jump.

  When you exploit physics you come across 2 trees.  These are intended as platforms but end up being unfair and badly placed.  You jump on the tree's leaves but you fall through even though other leaves closer to the center have solid concrete to stand on.  This is probably a graphic choice by Lordofold due to the concrete blocks showing on the other tree that is easier to see.  There is also a weird enemy placement in a small dark 3x8 cave housing a Thug.  Curiosity killed the virtual cat.

  Then there is a sign that looks odd due to Sploder grid placing that points towards Henderson Mine.  When passing this sign 4 Thugs suddenly fall down with only one being close enough to get over the sign and attack you.  Then there is another Thug, and another, and another, and then one falls from the sky, and 2 more by a ladder to the mine blocked by rocks, making it a faulty route.  The route is actually just about 20-30 blocks away and is covered by nothing except your 2 meters high 1 meter wide Minecraft body.

  I'll try to make this quick to get to other sections and make this review more enjoyable.  Out of the 31 crystals in the game, 30 of them are in this mine (with one in Old Henry's lair).  The first one is to your right in the corner, and the others are down very fast stairs.  After you break your back you hit a block which, because of Sploder lighting, is completely invisible without a torch or using radar.  Going right and doing well placed jumps and sword climbing takes you to your second crystal.

  To the left of that invisible block is a ladder which leads to a platform going left and right.  Going left gets you a crystal and going right gives you a ladder which leads to a platform going left or right.  Going left gets you a crystal and going right gives you.. nothing. The crystal you see is behind a wall.  Lordofold is a good misleader.  Going back down to the prior platform going further right gets you the formerly blocked crystal.
  When running down the next part of stairs, 3 spikes fall on to you which distracts you or you focus on everything else and probably pass it.  There are 2 short ladders down here which both have stairs to small rooms containing crystals.  The first room has 2 crystals on top and 5 in the room, and the second has 3 on a shelf like structure.

  Hold left down the final stairs and, if you don't let go, you will get the crystal.  This is used by Lordofold as an easy crystal to get that requires knowledge of the workings of the game in order to make the game go faster, creating re-playability through unneeded trail and error.  Go right to get 6 crystals and repeat the same except jump onto the upper platform to get 3 crystals.  This again uses unneeded trial and error to become faster thus creating re-playability due to the jump onto the upper platform and which crystals to go to first.

  The final ladder needed to complete this game is the ladder by the 'continue left' crystal.  Go back up there and you will see 2 crystals looking at you through the wall.  When you try to get them, you realize the blackness is made up of 4 or so invisible blocks blocking your path.  Sploder lighting strikes again and it sucks.  Anyways, you just need to slowly walk left until you fall a block or 2 and get the 2 crystals.  Then, after the long journey, you jump down the ladder to find 2 floors of lava.  The higher one is to mislead you into dying, while the lower one has the final crystals.  These crystals are difficult.  There are two blocks that lead to nearly inescapable lava, which means you have to go as fast as you can, jump or die, slow down, stop, go to the fridge, eat something, go back, speed up, jump again, and (hopefully) land on the platform with the last 4 crystals.  I've noticed a trend of Sploder physics being mean.

  Although some of these nitpicks are on the Platformer Creator's end, that doesn't mean they're not on Lordofold as well.  Lordofold did not try to fix the mistakes, in fact, he used them to mislead players.  Also, the placement of enemies are odd and close together and sometimes don't even work due to the Thugs' inability to jump.  The trees have confusing collision due to more commitment to graphics, and Old Henry is just too nice.  But these aren't even problems when compared to the story.  Oh lord, the story.


  Remember that useless story element that I mentioned before?  Well, this is it.  It's a sign that says "GWEN COME TO MY HOUSE FROM OLD HENRY".  The game doesn't any more information about Gwen, but I presume she's Old Henry's love interest.  Gwen did not arrive at Old Henry's house and that is the reason he is so angry.  He likely suffers from some sort of mental illness for him to try to kill us.  Or that's what I thought...
My theory is that WE KILLED GWEN and Old Henry is only fighting for revenge against the murderer of her.  Even worse, when we play the intended route of the game (get the heart, kill old henry, kill thugs, go to mine and get crystals), we KILL OLD HENRY, making us, the player, more evil than any enemy in this game.  This deepens the plot tenfold and now Old Henry has a story and a reason to exist.

  Then we have the horrible Thugs.  They took over the mine.  My theory of the Thugs is that they are commanded by Old Henry (making a connection between 2 characters in the game), and they were commanded to protect the mine from us horrible people but ended up taking it over entirely unbeknownst to Old Henry.  When we defeated the Thugs and got in the mine, we collected the necessary crystals to become the richest man on Earth.

  This is the only amount of story I could gather from this game that even BARELY connects.  It's probably 99% incorrect for all I know.  In all seriousness, this story makes no sense and mostly involves theory and lies to construct.  But this is a Minecraft fan game.  Why am I even doing this?


  this game sucks lol

  Okay, that was a joke.  Sure, this game has a lot of unnecessary and annoying difficulties and problems, its attempted story doesn't have an ending, a beginning, or a middle for that matter, but it has a sort of charm to it.  The huge mine really gives the game a sort of free feel unlike more small, cramped games then and now, and a few of the problems challenge the player in a manner that makes you want to come back and complete it faster and faster until you beat my 2:58 time.  The graphics really utilize the stock platforms to create Minecraft as well as possible on a kids game website, being much better than the clickbait 'Minecraft' shooter games from 2009 and the other Minecraft games that didn't become the 2nd most popular game on the website like this game did.

Gameplay: 6/10
Story: 2/10
Graphics: 6.7/10

Overall score: 5/10 (based on mathematical average)
yeah the thing's done but a friend told me to say this (don't add this oof)
rajand100 is a very good looking gentleman at the end of the thing

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