Author Topic: Game Story Applications  (Read 501 times)

Offline sparrowblue

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Game Story Applications
« on: April 27, 2019, 11:34 am »
Dear Gamers,

I have come up with this awesome idea to do a game story feature request station and game story application office.This is my explanation of this.This is a station where you can write your story for a sploder game your working on.Here we can help you to make your story intereasting so your game might become feature worthy.The story in your game must be

*Intereasting- If your story is boring and drags on then it won't be story worthy and we will tell you how you can improve on it.
*Lots of Quantity while having lots of quality-Your story must be "complex"(well developed and lots of imagination)while being an intereasting and fun story to know.
*Has to be a story your doing  for a game-The whole point of this station is to see if your story is good enough to help make your game feature worthy.
*Has to have good enough SPAG-SPAG(Spelling, Punchtuation and Grammar) makes your story more exciting to read and makes your story more easier to read.So please have good enough SPAG.
*Your own story and not copied-If your story is copied then there is no point posting it here so please don't do that.
*A story that is not too long-If your story is long then do 2 or 3 parts and if one of your parts gets accepted then do a different part.

Staff Applications

We need staff in this station so here are a list of staff we need here

Deputy Manager-Someone who I trust and will help me keep this running
SPAG Officers-Your role is to accept the SPAG on someone's story and to see if it's good enough!SPAG gets you 33.333333% of your acceptance so we need SPAG officers who are really good at SPAG.
Recruiters-Your role is to accept the other parts of their story like imagination and other stuff.Make sure your sure with your decision and remember the story has to be feature worthy.
Event Organisers-Your job is to run events on this station like the story hall of fame or the story contests.Make the events as fun as possible.

Please say things that you will do if you are that staff to get accepted in that staff membership.

I will allow

*5 SPAG officers-We don't need too many
*1 Deputy Manager-A very trustworthy one.
*10-20 recruiters.-First 10 just have to say what they expect to see if a story is going to be accepted and the other 10 have to have their story accepted before becoming a recruiter.
*10-15 Event Organisers-To be one of these please say a good enough event and I will either accept or deny.

If you want to post your application for a feature worthy story then please do the following

*Add a title like this "The Elementals"-Based on Legends of the Elementals by sparrowblue
*If your story was nearly good enough then you can re-apply in 1 week and if you weren't close then you can reaply in 2 weeks.

I am the manager and I have every staff membership but if you are good enough at 1 staff membership then you can move on to be another staff member.

Please reply to this and either do your game story or apply to be one of the staff members.

Thanks for reading!
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2019, 12:09 pm »
"Persian Prince Part 1"-Based on Prince of Persia by sparrowblue

I am going to write this to give you an example of a good story.

Chapter 1:The Streets of Persia

Once upon a time, there was a humble king of Persia who had a lovely wife.They ran the community around the land.There would be food stalls and long shelves.There would be carpet flying and magic stalls.The number of stalls were high up like an eagle.There would be market stalls and pools.Persia was a great place to live(for now)There was this precious place though.Nobody was allowed to trespass the secret orphanage.The kids were buzzing bees.They would like to buzz around the place and hunt for prey.They would only pollenate things for themselves and then buzz back to their "honeycomb" hall.If a bee was to escape from their massive hive then everything would be stung.The king would always check up on the orphanage to see if things were going well.Often, the king would take the children who he was interested in.There was nobody he liked though.The wind and surroundings dragged him away so he couldn't make "complex" eye contact.The queen was carried around in a cart with horses and was always nice to everybody.She was a crowd pleaser and she would always help the poor.She would make sure everything was running goodly in Persia.When natural disasters wopuld occur they would hide in the secret temple.Even the bees(children) from the orphanage would have to go down to the temple.There were 7 seals down there and nobody was allowed to touch them.The 7 seals were the things that ran Persia.If somebody was to steal them they would become "immortal."

Chapter 2:The Queen Dies

Many years later, the queen became sick and slowly was dying.People would check up on her to see how she was doing more often.She still helped the poor even in her "sickly" state.The poor would visit her the most and prey to her.They would say"May you rest well thy lord."The queen organised a meeting.She said "I am very sick and I am going to die!"Everybody was shocked.She said "Hopefully, the king chooses the right woman for the land or we will be in a horrible state."She continued"When I have died I ask you to keep your eye who is in power or they might become too powerful."Everybody got confused.The queen sang a relaxing tune and then fainted.Was this a coinsidence?A woman came up and said"It looks like the queen has fainted so I'm going to heal her."She got out her medication kit and healed the queen.Then she got an ambulance.She asked "King, may I go to the hospital with you?"The king agreed because of her kindness.The AAA(Arabian,Agent,Agency)had a secret meeting.They were suspicous of the random lady.One of them said"I'm sure she's up to something."Another one said"I'm not sure if the queen even fainted or not!"The leader said"We're going to have to start up a case on this as this might be serious."They set out caution tape everywhere as they were discovering what went on.Meanwhile, the queen did get cured and could live longer.

Chapter 3:The Queen's Memory Lane

The random lady took the queen to the maze.She started up a friendly conversation.She said"Are you okay after that fall!"The queen replied"I'm still healing and what is your name?"The lady said"Gretta!"Gretta continued"How did you meet the king.The queen said"We met in a circus and  which is quite funny.The queen continued"We saw a monkey picking it's nose which is even funnier!"Gretta put on a fake laugh.Gretta said"Were you royal before you was queen."The queen replied"I was a nun  but I had to give it up as I loved the king too much.She continued"I still do missionary work thoughwhile having memories with the king.Gretta said"I know your cousin and apparantely the king's dad founded Persia.The queen said"How did you know that."Gretta replied"I know lot of things, You like to paint your lips like a rainbow, you are attracted to hippos and you made 3 seals."Gretta continued"Please may I have one of the seals since I saved you."The queen said"Do you really think I'm that stupid?!"Gretta said"I will release the orphans and tell the king your secrets."The queen ordered the statue warriors to go after Gretta .Gretta was not seen for 3 years and after those 3 years the queen died.Her grave was in the maze where Gretta chose.Gretta was the most evilest scoundrel ever known!

End of Story.
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline Ethan2009

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2019, 12:28 pm »
Going to lidl 2, by lordeldar
Storyline: Your cookie was stolen by mat who couldn't give it back, because he didn't want to starve, so you kidnapped CG and held him hostage until mat gave the cookie back, but then Sto4 and bricc conspired against you, and closed lidl down forever, and you have to kidnap geoff now, and make lidl work again. But then, Aplatformerdude appears, and you die.
8)
 

Offline Bricc

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2019, 12:31 pm »
Sorry, Sparrow. Your original post is not feature worthy. You failed to spell multiple words, notably "punchtuation" and "intereasting". Not only that, but your grammar itself needs improvement; it is common practice to separate each sentence with a space. This would make your work much easier to read.

Sincerely, SPAG officer leader PC commander constable Bricc.
« Last Edit: April 27, 2019, 02:23 pm by Bricc »


Moderator, Moderator Recruiter, Reviewer, Editor
 

Offline Ethan2009

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2019, 12:34 pm »
Sorry, Bricc. Your original post is not feature worthy. You failed to spell multiple words, notably "punchtuation" and "intereasting". Not only that, but your grammar itself needs improvement; it is common practice to separate each sentence with space. This would make your work much easier to read.

Sincerely, SPAG officer leader PC commander constable Ethan.
8)
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2019, 12:39 pm »
lol. XD.  I'm not the only one who messes up with SPAG sometimes. Btw ethan your story is denied because it's not your own story and it wasn't long at all.It wasn't entertaining enough either.It was copied off lordeldar. Remember, imagination is key!
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2019, 12:43 pm »
bricc, you seem good enough to be a SPAG officer so you're hired as one!
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2019, 12:44 pm »
ethan2009, you can be a SPAG officer if you want!
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Offline Ethan2009

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2019, 01:17 pm »
ngl, Lordeldar was super jealous when I dm'd him that story
8)
 

Offline seanthechinaman

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2019, 01:22 pm »
i dont see why all of these ' SPAG Officers ' and ' Deputies ' cant be compounded into the Recruiter role. your system is overly complex for what is just a ' rate your story ' thread. could you explain how youre going to ' feature ' these stories as well?

in the case of Ethan's Going to Lidl story, it was in fact HIS story, just written for another person's game.
 

Offline Ethan2009

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2019, 01:23 pm »
New story: lordeldar and bricc were in a deathbattle and I won
8)
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2019, 01:35 pm »
New Plan!Deputies and SPAG officers are all in the recruiter category as sean as a good point.The story can be for another person like sean said.
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2019, 01:42 pm »
How can your story get featured.

*If your story is long enough
*Your story having good enough imagination.
*A story not being *dragged* on
*An interesting story
*A story which stands out from other stories
*Your story being correct with it's SPAG.If you make 1 or 2 minor grammar mistakes then that's okay
*Your story is easy to read for any age.(these stories might get shared on the main site so it hs to be for all age groups.
*Your story having advanced grammar sometimes like a good similie or metaphor.
*Your story fitting well with your game title and content.
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline seanthechinaman

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2019, 01:44 pm »
How can your story get featured.

*If your story is long enough
*Your story having good enough imagination.
*A story not being *dragged* on
*An interesting story
*A story which stands out from other stories
*Your story being correct with it's SPAG.If you make 1 or 2 minor grammar mistakes then that's okay
*Your story is easy to read for any age.(these stories might get shared on the main site so it hs to be for all age groups.
*Your story having advanced grammar sometimes like a good similie or metaphor.
*Your story fitting well with your game title and content.

i was asking how YOU would feature it? where does it go once its ' featured ' ?
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2019, 01:45 pm »
Recruiters 3/20

sparrowblue
bricc(maybe, he was good when he replied to my story)
ethan2009(I think he wants to be)

Please apply now!
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #15 on: April 27, 2019, 02:01 pm »
It's mostly just advice to see if your story  is good enough for your game and I'll feature them by just announcing it on the main site in my games.I'll get other people to announce them as well.The featured stories will mostly be known on the forums though and then people can loo at them.I might do a featured stories thread(topic) in Game Discussion and discuss about the feature worthy stories.
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #16 on: May 07, 2019, 02:26 am »
We've had a new application by isabella299!It's about a girl who is adopted by this horrible man.Check it out on my main site game.Here's the link.You can see why I denied it as well there!It's on the fist page of comments.
http://www.sploder.com/games/members/sparrowblue/play/game-story-applications/
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #17 on: May 17, 2019, 02:05 pm »
We've had another application by isabella299!It's about 2 girls who venture out in the woods but there are some strange and scary things going on.This story would have been featured.It's just that I found some minor mistakes in it that could really put the reader off.Here's the link.It's on the third page of comments.
http://www.sploder.com/games/members/sparrowblue/play/game-story-applications/
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline Rockyroad797

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2019, 02:52 am »
can i become a staff?

CHAMPIONS!
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2019, 10:08 am »
can i become a staff?
Yes, okay.If you want to recruit for the stories then you will have to say what you expect from a story to be featured.
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Offline Rockyroad797

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #20 on: May 18, 2019, 10:50 am »
Yes, okay.If you want to recruit for the stories then you will have to say what you expect from a story to be featured.

Ok then I wont become on sorry

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Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #21 on: May 26, 2019, 09:33 am »
Finally, we have got a feauture worthy story off of isabella299.I felt that she only just touched what the expectations are for a featured story and next time she has to go past that line a bit.She needs to push my expectations out of the window and make a fun creative story.Here is the story.It is about a fox that causes mischief so he gets sent to a camp.The fox meets a mysterious figure that will soon be a massive part to his life.Read it down below

"Beast Becomes Beauty"- A story based on The Animal Fence- by isabella299
One day, there was a fox trying to eat the sheep. The sheep were scared and ran away. The shepherd saw and ran like a cheetah. The next day, the fox tried to create a trap for the sheep. He dug a hole and put leaves on top. The trees dropped the leaves for the fox and the fox started his trap. The sheep were walking but then they got caught in the fox's trap. The farmer got the tractor and got the sheep out.

Eventually, the farmer sent the fox to a camp because he was fuming. When the fox got there, he thought that he could be mean like he did with the sheep. He did not like it there because there were no sheep. There were no sheep to be mean to. A girl was walking around and saw a frustrated fox... This girl liked helping people and was a Christian. She liked to walk with people and bring things with her. She had crystal-brown eyes and a necklace with a cross on.

Her ear rings were sparkling stars. She wasn't the most beautiful girl, but she was beautiful in her God's eyes. The girl (a nice girl) started talking to the fox. The fox didn't know what to think but he sent signs on what was wrong. The girl recognized what he was saying even though the fox couldn't talk. The fox made a hole because he had a deep connection with her. So, the girl went through and started playing with the fox. The girl had to go home but she didn't want to leave the fox.

She was feeling as sad as an injured person. The fox was very tired, hungry and thirsty. So, the girl brought him some fox food and water. They heard footsteps and loud bangs. What was to come...? What do you think? The robber saw the fox and the girl. They started to run as fast as their little legs could take them. They went through a hole in a fence. The robber said, "You can't run but you can hide!"There was a family in the house, and they saw the lonely couple.The family was her family, but she did not know. The girl started to recognize the house and she started running towards it. The fox didn't follow her because he didn't like the look of the house. The family came out to see what was going on. The family said, "Come on in daughter!" The girl was very confused. The fox didn't know what the family meant. The family didn't like the look of the fox, so they had to think of something. They said "Throw that fox away and come on in!The fox did not like the sound of that, and it ran away. The girl decided not to leave the fox, so she went with him. She decided to leave her actual family. Would you do this? The girl wanted to be with her family, but she didn't want to leave the fox either. She decided to sleep in the woods for the night and she curled up with the fox to be warm. What happened next...? The family didn't want to leave her, so they decided to adopt the fox.They started to have a bond with the fox and even took it on holidays with them. They had, parties, face paints, makeovers and sleepovers. They took the fox for a walk and even treated it like a human being. The End...!!!!!!
From your friend, sparrow.:D
 

Offline sparrowblue

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Re: Game Story Applications
« Reply #22 on: May 26, 2019, 09:41 am »
This is my feedback to our first featured story off of isabella299.

I'm going to accept this but here are some things to know for next time. i'm featuring this because it has a great moral to it. about animal cruelty. It had some classic stuff in it and everybody loves the style of classic. It could have been a bit more creative but it was creative enough I guess. The story was quite fun to read and it does make the reader think more and feel more for the story. You built up tension and characters more this time. You could have built more of a background on thefarmer and the camp but it was okay without it. Your advanced grammar was amazing and managed to fit two pieces of advanced grammar in once sentence. That's quite difficult to pull off. be careful with he, she and it. Say the name of the character and then start saying he or she. You repeated things a lot and made it drag on a bit. This only affected it by the tiniest bit but don't do this for your next story. Well done on getting this story featured. For your next story you have to improve otherwise it won't get featured. You may write your next story in a week(Sunday 2nd June 2019. Well done. It was an excellent story.

Let me know your feedback and what you think of the story.tell me if you think it's feature worthy or not.You can see what makes a story featured on the first comment on this thread.Remember, we do need more recruiters as we will end up getting outstanding stories if we have more recruiters.To sign up for the recruiter role then please say what you expect from a feature worthy story and then I will pm you a story.Once I have sent you a pm of the story you need to say why it's not feature worthy.I will send a non feature worthy story as it gets you to think more.Finally, I will see what you have put and if it is mostly accurate then I will let you be a recruiter.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2019, 09:44 am by sparrowblue »
From your friend, sparrow.:D