Author Topic: You can only 'mine' 7 blocks - A review of MINECRAFT like but COOLER [VERSION 2]  (Read 1058 times)

Offline starcraft1234

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This is a second attempt at a rejected review 2 weeks ago.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First of all I need to flex on y’all that I have the record of 1:56 [B)]

MINECRAFT like but COOLER is a game by Lordofold from 2011 that has 835k views, making it the 2nd most played game on the site. And it probably has exploited views because it only has 29 ratings.
It’s a game based off Minecraft that centers on a mine taken over by thugs.
There’s also a story which goes nowhere.
Okay
Let’s delve deeper into this creeper

GAMEPLAY:

  This game is big. I don’t mean long and slow big, I just mean large map big. This game has 31 crystals to collect and 30 of them are hidden in the mine section in the game. Due to the short length of the upper section, I’ll focus on that for now.

  The upper section of the game is mostly boring. The gameplay is long and tedious and unnecessarily challenging. For example:
At the start, there is a water section. This water section is long and water in Platformer isn’t very good. Although this is mostly on the creator’s end, Lordofold was the one who put the water there. He also decided to put a brick in the water that you need to walk on to progress, but you can’t jump on it unless you have a laggy computer or mastered the pause exploit because old Platformer Creator was the best ever thing of all time.
See what I mean? Lordofold could have easily used the water as an obstacle that you can AVOID or just skip it altogether. Then there are trees that have inconsistent leaf collision, a lair where your only option is to sword climb, too many enemies, etc etc.

  But there is something that the upper section has that the mine section mostly lacks, and that’s the quality of the graphics. The graphics editor didn’t exist back then let alone in Platformer, so Lordofold had to use the many prefabs at his disposal to create a Minecraft like environment. And, he did pretty well. Sure, the water has random shades of blue in random positions covering the blue water, but the platforms and backgrounds are about spot on from what he had. From the bright look of the upper section you know Lordofold really felt passionate about what he was doing.

  Now we have the mine. The advantage the mine has over the upper section is the size of it. From corner to corner the mine is huge, and by all laws should be pitch black but, like Minecraft, there are many torches placed just close enough to cover the mine with a decent amount of light. But there are some places, just a few, that are completely invisible to the naked eye. This may be a mistake by Lordofold or an intentional design choice used to confuse/mislead the player and cause them to miss important places where crystals are located.
The mine looks… fine, to say the least. I mean, it’s not BAD by any means but it looks kind of dull compared to how fun the mine is to blaze through. It’s just the default black background of the underground, no background cobblestone or anything. Plus, the ‘mine’ only has a 1 block layer of cobblestone throughout, an obvious choice by Lordofold to save hours of time filling in the blanks of the mine but cost the game a much better look than the slim bland dark pathway we got.

  The gameplay was a fun, fast, mediocre looking, sometimes annoying, unintentionally or unnecessarily difficult, okay play. 6/10.

STORY:

 This story makes no sense and I’m very angry about that. The first look at the story of the game is an easter egg in a secret room in the water. It says: “GWEN COME TO MY HOUSE FROM OLD HENRY”. This signifies a possible relationship between Gwen and Old Henry. Speaking of Old Henry, we need to kill him to get the first crystal in the game. Wait, what? If we kill Old Henry, does that mean…. Okay. I need to start this over and figure this out from start to finish.
So, Old Henry lives in a cave. He left a sign for Gwen in another cave. But Old Henry tried to kill us! He wanted us to get out! He was afraid of us! WE KILLED GWEN AND WE WERE GOING TO KILL OLD HENRY TOO WHICH WE SUCCEEDED IN! It makes sense now. The murder of Gwen was horrible and he knew who was the killer.. us. He tried to kill us in an act of self-defense, trying to defend his crystal which we need for our need for greed. Due to our horrible greed, we kill Old Henry. But this is the first part of the game. What’s next?

  What’s next are the Thugs, the main enemy of the game. From the dialogue the Thugs gave us, we can gather the information needed to assume they have taken over the mine. I also believe Old Henry controlled the Thugs, but they started a revolution and took the mine for themselves. I have come to the conclusion that Old Henry was the former leader of the Thugs because, well, they look the same..?

  This story makes no sense. It’s like a connect-the-dots sheet that is missing two thirds and you need to draw them yourself. It’s a failed attempt at a story. Heck, I got more story out of ‘Diary of a Farting Creeper’ than this, and that book made me isolate myself for 26 years and come back in a time machine to write this. The only confirmed thing I’ve figured out is that the Thugs took over the mine and that Old Henry wants Gwen to come over for something. For a game that looks much better than other Platformer games at the time, Lordofold lacks a storytelling ability. In short, this story would be better off gone. It only distracts the player from their greedy goal. But, I will say that Lordofold gave information that can be tied together with a few new thoughts. At least it’s manageable. 2/10

CONCLUSION:

  This game is fine. It had a great choice of prefabs for the time but the mine lacks creativity, the gameplay is sometimes annoying and unnecessarily difficult but can be mastered and enjoyed for the large area it gives you, the story makes absolutely no sense but it lets me think of ties between events, and the title is very attractive outside of Sploder. Overall, this game gives me a good time speeding through it and collecting the crystals, etc, but, in the end, it’s just a Minecraft fan game on a kids game website that Lordofold made in his spare time, and he couldn’t make Final Fantasy VII, instead he made… Fortnite (hahaha funny joke get it because fortnite takes place on venus apparently hahaha okay). It’s a game I would recommend if you want a good time you can come back to, even if it isn’t great. Wait, that’s the average mobile game!

Gameplay: 6/10
  Quick and fun but not exactly good.
Story: 2/10
  This makes no sense. Why does this story exist?
Graphics/Prefab choice: 6.6/10
  The surface looks great but the mine lacks a lot.

Overall score: 5/10
« Last Edit: January 26, 2019, 01:54 pm by starcraft1234 »


 

Offline Ethan2009

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Good luck. I don't like how you said that lordofold put the water there... Because who else could? But it's a good review
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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Good luck. I don't like how you said that lordofold put the water there... Because who else could? But it's a good review
I was showing that the water in Platformer is annoying, but shifting the blame to Lordofold because he was the one who placed the water.


 

Offline Bricc

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Good luck. I don't like how you said that lordofold put the water there... Because who else could? But it's a good review

If you want me to be honest I fail to see a problem with that. Star is right when he says Lordofold put it there. It's also better than always using "he" or "she".


Moderator, Moderator Recruiter, Reviewer, Editor
 

Offline Ethan2009

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If you want me to be honest I fail to see a problem with that. Star is right when he says Lordofold put it there. It's also better than always using "he" or "she".
That's not what I find weird, hes saying the water is a problem and saying lordofold put the water there, but no one else could put the water there since hes the game maker
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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When I say the creator I mean the game creator Ethan


 

Offline Ethan2009

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When I say the creator I mean the game creator Ethan
ok, i'm stupid, idk whats happening lol, ur fine, im just dumb
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Offline starcraft1234

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Okay but I'm not fine
I put my brother in a washing machine because he gave me a gift card with 10 dollars left
He died
I live in your car now


 

Offline Ethan2009

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Okay but I'm not fine
I put my brother in a washing machine because he gave me a gift card with 10 dollars left
He died
I live in your car now
Um... ok, nice???
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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I'll transfer to under your bed soon


 

Offline Ethan2009

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I'll transfer to under your bed soon
That's creepy
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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Then under you


 

Offline Ethan2009

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8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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T h e n  I  w i l l  c r a w l  i n s i d e  y o u r  m o u t h
A n d  t a k e  o v e r  y o u r  b r a i n
A n d  f r a m e  y o u  f o r  m u r d e r
W   A   T   C   H      O   U   T


 

Offline Ethan2009

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T h e n  I  w i l l  c r a w l  i n s i d e  y o u r  m o u t h
A n d  t a k e  o v e r  y o u r  b r a i n
A n d  f r a m e  y o u  f o r  m u r d e r
W   A   T   C   H      O   U   T
:'(
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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Offline Ethan2009

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8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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I'm telling the pwincable  :'(
P        R        E        V        I        O        U        S        L        Y
"pwincable i need to tell thing"
"oke what"
me: ate pwincable


 

Offline Ethan2009

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P        R        E        V        I        O        U        S        L        Y
"pwincable i need to tell thing"
"oke what"
me: ate pwincable
I'm telling ur mom
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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My mom doesn't know where I went after my brother died


 

Offline Ethan2009

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My mom doesn't know where I went after my brother died
>:(
8)
 

Offline seanthechinaman

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Denied
Your writing is rather messy, with poor wording often leading to redundant statements like "need for our need for greed."

Your analysis of the game was also confusing. You briefly summarized how water works in the platformer creator for your "Gameplay" section and then continued to talk about scenery. You did mention "how fun the mine is to blaze through" but never went deeper into why it was fun. I am glad that you frequently give your opinion, but you must also explain your opinion when reviewing.

You analysed the story well, and the confusing structure of your first "Story" paragraph helps to convey the incoherent nature of the game's story. But your poor wording is still apparent in this section of the review.

Your conclusion bleeds style. I'm sure you will be a unique personality in Sploder reviewing once you get accepted.

(you may re-apply in 2 WEEKS, unless other Recruiters offer an opposing verdict)

 

Offline Crazykittyzz

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When I clicked here I expected some discussion

Um

 

Offline Ethan2009

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When I clicked here I expected some discussion

Um
My mom doesn't know where I went after my brother died
lol
8)
 

Offline starcraft1234

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When I clicked here I expected some discussion

Um
this is epic discussion shut