Author Topic: [Denied]"This" Was Awesome!  (Read 590 times)

Offline Rubber Ducky

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #30 on: June 17, 2013, 07:55 am »
Not bad honestly. Did you fix and did those things that Dudki recomended?
 

Offline Pai

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #31 on: June 17, 2013, 08:12 am »
Not bad honestly. Did you fix and did those things that Dudki recomended?
Yes. I made a new paragraph.
 

Offline Rubber Ducky

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #32 on: June 17, 2013, 08:23 am »
Yes. I made a new paragraph.
Alright. This is a legit review btw.
 

Offline Dudki

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #33 on: June 17, 2013, 08:31 am »
Yes. I made a new paragraph.
I'm glad you took my advice. The review looks much better now. Nice work.

I wish you luck.
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Offline Pai

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #34 on: June 17, 2013, 09:19 am »
I'm glad you took my advice. The review looks much better now. Nice work.

I wish you luck.
Thanks.
 

Offline XxMagmaxX

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #35 on: June 17, 2013, 10:22 am »
I first wrote this in a piece of paper before 7grant2 reviewed it.
I highly doubt that.
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Offline Creeperzkillyou

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #36 on: June 17, 2013, 11:11 am »
Bump?

Problem?
 

Offline Spidapig

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #37 on: June 17, 2013, 03:54 pm »
Oh my gosh Dudki's advice made it worse.

Do you guys like reading scientific articles and master theses?  That's what these reviews look like.  They are boring, way too structured, and they have no flair whatsoever.  It's like reading the ingredients label on the back of a chip bag.  All meat, no sizzle.
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Offline Spidapig

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #38 on: June 17, 2013, 03:54 pm »
Denied
For fifty and nine he swam along just fine, a mind that’s trained to see, always would know what goes on inside, goes on in me.
 

Offline Dudki

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #39 on: June 17, 2013, 04:18 pm »
Oh my gosh Dudki's advice made it worse.

Do you guys like reading scientific articles and master theses?  That's what these reviews look like.  They are boring, way too structured, and they have no flair whatsoever.  It's like reading the ingredients label on the back of a chip bag.  All meat, no sizzle.
Really? Was it THAT bad? I personally find a layout like this very good, since people will know when the next segment starts. Most reviewers do it this way.'

Just having a single loooong paragraph is not visually appealing for me. =/
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Offline Spidapig

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #40 on: June 17, 2013, 04:31 pm »
There are no transitions, no nothing.  I wrot a research paper on the reproductive rate of lemna minor under the influence of wind that was more interesting than this.
For fifty and nine he swam along just fine, a mind that’s trained to see, always would know what goes on inside, goes on in me.
 

Offline Spidapig

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #41 on: June 17, 2013, 04:33 pm »
Professional reviewers don't have cleancut segments like this at all.  They flow from point to point without the need for stops and stuff.  Listen to a gamespot review or read a gameinformer review
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Offline Jmc10

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #42 on: June 17, 2013, 05:08 pm »
Oh my gosh Dudki's advice made it worse.

Do you guys like reading scientific articles?
I find scientific articles quite interesting actually.





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Offline Spidapig

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Re: [Application]"This" Was Awesome!
« Reply #43 on: June 17, 2013, 05:35 pm »
Ones with abstracs, introduction, materials and methods, etc.
For fifty and nine he swam along just fine, a mind that’s trained to see, always would know what goes on inside, goes on in me.