Author Topic: Young Dead [Zombie Sploder Story] [CH 7 - From All Sides!] [NEW!!!]  (Read 1078 times)

Offline Dark Chronicle

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Re: Young Dead [Zombie Sploder Story] [Chapter 2 Out!] [Feedback = Thank]
« Reply #30 on: January 11, 2013, 06:03 pm »
yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Offline FadingEmber

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Re: Young Dead [Zombie Sploder Story] [Chapter 2 Out!] [Feedback = Thank]
« Reply #31 on: January 11, 2013, 06:03 pm »
Yeah, I just can't wait to read more (not sarcastic) :)
 

Offline masenko

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Offline JJS

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Re: Young Dead [Zombie Sploder Story] [Chapter 2 Out!] [Feedback = Thank]
« Reply #33 on: January 19, 2013, 05:12 am »
Bump.
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Offline Drummer

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Re: Young Dead [Zombie Sploder Story] [Chapter 2 Out!] [Feedback = Thank]
« Reply #34 on: January 19, 2013, 05:18 am »
Ok. =)



 

Offline JJS

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CHAPTER 3 IS OUT BRO'S
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Offline JJS

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Bump.

Oh and because I'm bored, next to the character names I'm going to make MS accounts and put the avatars next to them, so it's kind of like the Sploder avatar version of what they look like ahaha, yeah that's how bored I am. XD
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Offline Princess Matty

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I think you need to go into more detail. Like when Lennie was cutting open the guys stomach, you should have added some statements like "OMG I FOUND HIS INTESTINES =DDDD" or something to make the reader more aware of what he is like.
hi
 

Offline masenko

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"OMG I FOUND HIS INTESTINES =DDDD"
XD
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Offline Dark Chronicle

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lol
 

Offline JJS

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I think you need to go into more detail. Like when Lennie was cutting open the guys stomach, you should have added some statements like "OMG I FOUND HIS INTESTINES =DDDD" or something to make the reader more aware of what he is like.

You're right, I have been planning to edit the chapters and separate scenes to make them a whole lot better, and while I was thinking about that I was thinking about that exact scene, so yes, I'll do that : D But I'm going to wait until I've posted 6 chapters on here, then go through them all. And saying something like that would actually represent Lennie very well, seeing as he's quite comedic from time to time.

Thank you for that :)

XD

You're loving being Lennie aha
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Offline JJS

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All sploder avatar versions of what the characters look like have been added.
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Offline Princess Qwerty

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Lovin the new chapter. For some strange reason I lol'd when Lennie cut Leon open.... Muahahahaha
 

Offline JJS

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bump
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Offline Drummer

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You have really have a talent.



 

Offline blackhole2

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^Agreed.
Nice.
Readable.
Enjoyable.
 

Offline JJS

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Chapter 4-5 out bro's!
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Offline masenko

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Lennie is now my avatar. =)
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Offline JJS

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haha nice!
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Offline JJS

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Bump
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Offline Eth

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Nice story, loving it. Could I be a character in it or somethin'? :DDDD
 

Offline JJS

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Nice story, loving it. Could I be a character in it or somethin'? :DDDD

Well, new characters are coming soon!
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Offline wweandmetalmusic

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How many chapters you aiming for?

 

Offline JJS

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How many chapters you aiming for?

100. That'll be the end of this story, then there will be a sequel.
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Offline Princess Matty

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Lol. Level 5 was one of the better chapters in the story imo. However wouldn't the zombies find the people on the oval? lol
hi
 

Offline JJS

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Lol. Level 5 was one of the better chapters in the story imo. However wouldn't the zombies find the people on the oval? lol

*Chapter 5...

People on the oval...? What do you mean? I mentioned that "the dead haven't stopped coming at us all day". They have a couple of guns and a lot of tools from the school workshop they are hold up in, it's not too difficult to hold them off.

Or do you mean the dead bodies...? We burned/buried them from memory, zombies don't eat dead people, they prefer the kick 'n' scream and the fresh meant haha
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Offline Princess Matty

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At the start of chapter 5 you said this.
I inform a few others of our job. “Jezza, Nikki, you two come with me, out to the oval. We’re going to bury Mr Montalto, Leon and Spike. Megan and Elly will clear the way, grab some shovels and whatever you think is necessary to bash a zombies brain in.”
hi
 

Offline JJS

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At the start of chapter 5 you said this.
I inform a few others of our job. “Jezza, Nikki, you two come with me, out to the oval. We’re going to bury Mr Montalto, Leon and Spike. Megan and Elly will clear the way, grab some shovels and whatever you think is necessary to bash a zombies brain in.”


I know, they were out on the OVAL burying them, I never said they weren't, I said "the dead haven't stopped coming at us all day,", the dead are the ZOMBIES, like I said, they have weapons to kill them... why is it so hard to understand? XD
« Last Edit: January 28, 2013, 03:59 am by JJS »
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Offline JJS

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Bump.
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Offline JJS

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Bump.
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