Author Topic: Luigi's Advice to Make Your Reviews Better. (Read This if You Want to be a Reviewer!)  (Read 8523 times)

Offline gameraterz223

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Wow! I think that was why I was getting denied! I'll try again!
 

Offline gameraterz223

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Offline residentevilrocks

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Sorry. Here's my review

TITLE OF REVIEW: He made hell THAT scary!

Introduction
Firstly, I would like to review this game because I saw the user (which is electronicus) recommend this game to some people, including the .:|WD|:. thread, the [MR} thread, and more. Second, the user had a featured game before which is "Prehistory". I thought first that "Prehistory" didn't really impress me. It was actually pretty short. The cover of the game looks great, and nice. Which is why I'm starting to like this game from the outside. Games are actually pieces of entertainment. So if this entertains me, this game might get a good score.

Gameplay
When I played this, I lost about 4 or 5 times. For me, I think almost all was great. Electronicus did a really good job of making a game that has a touching storyline. From my perspective, touching stories usually add a great part to a game. Another special thing about this game that supported the touching stories was the music. Electronicus had chosen the perfect music for the level, which is like choosing the perfect suit for a businessman. Which is then after level 2, my heart was surprised because electronicus had made a masterpiece. Although, the hazards and the puzzles were a little low challenging. The challenging part about the hazards are the lavas, Thors. Some of the hazards don't really "SUIT IN HELL". Electronicus sometimes add thugs. Well, there might be an explanation for this. Thugs are bad, they are prisoners in hell. But it is not explained why they want to kill you. Well, from computer logic, it's because they are enemies. From MY logic, it's a little weird. Why not just change the thugs into snarleys? Snarleys are the type of enemies that "SUIT IN HELL". Especially Thors, they do. Although the other hazard of lava wasn't so bad. It was challenging. Other enemy hazard placements are good. A hazard in the game involving medic kits and lava was pretty creative. But it "DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT". Decorations were great, I even think they are the best. I still think this is a masterpiece.

Conclusion
From my perspective, this is a great game, because it had great enemy placements, great decoration, also good creativity. The game was entertaining and also fun. It is like one of the games that require a strategy to win. Which requires thinking. Electronicus also supported a great story, which made me speechless right now.

Report

Challenge: 7,5 / 10
The challenge of the game is pretty hard, but I managed to beat it after 4 or 5 times of losing

Item Placement: 7,5 / 10
The item placement was good, but had some weaknesses

Enemy Placement: 7,5 / 10
The enemy placement was also good, but had 2 weaknesses

Puzzles: 6 / 10
There weren't really many puzzles in the game.

Creativity: 9 / 10
Whenever Electronicus got the idea is probably his best time of his life for me...

OVERALL: 42,5 / 50
I gave five extra points because the game's specialty is the story, the touching story and the music, which was good.

This has been a review by residentevilrocks
 

Offline residentevilrocks

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So what do you think?
 

Offline Superluigi77

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Posted By: residentevilrocksSo what do you think?
I'll look at a little later. Right now I'm dealing with the fact that cyclone got hacked again.
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Offline residentevilrocks

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Did you read it yet? :/
 

Offline gameraterz223

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Posted By: residentevilrocksDid you read it yet? :/


I did! I like it!
 

Offline Superluigi77

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Posted By: gameraterz223
Posted By: residentevilrocksDid you read it yet? :/


I did! I like it!
Unfortunately, this is not your thread. Either way, just saying that you liked it doesn't help him one bit.
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Offline residentevilrocks

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Posted By: superluigi77
Posted By: gameraterz223
Posted By: residentevilrocksDid you read it yet? :/


I did! I like it!
Unfortunately, this is not your thread. Either way, just saying that you liked it doesn't help him one bit.


So do you like it, superluigi77?
 

Offline gameraterz223

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Posted By: superluigi77
Posted By: gameraterz223
Posted By: residentevilrocksDid you read it yet? :/


I did! I like it!
Unfortunately, this is not your thread. Either way, just saying that you liked it doesn't help him one bit.


I was just saying. Sorry about that.
 

Offline residentevilrocks

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I'm already guessing that superluigi77 didn't like it because he didn't answer... :(
 

Offline Superluigi77

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First of all, I don't think you ever mentioned the name of the game. Another thing that stood out to me was that when you gave your explanations of your grades you said: "Item Placement: 7,5 / 10
The item placement was good, but had some weaknesses
Enemy Placement: 7,5 / 10
The enemy placement was also good, but had 2 weaknesses
Puzzles: 6 / 10
There weren't really many puzzles in the game."

What you should have done was explain what these weaknesses are. You can't just expect us to take your word for it that these weaknesses exist. Same with the puzzles. Always give examples to back up your opinions. This is especially important in the body of your review. Don't just say why something was good or bad. Tell us why it was so by citing an example to back up your opinion.

You seem to try to segue between topics, which is good, but your thoughts still seemed to be a little scattered. You seem to have found your writing voice. Good. Very good. The review had that casual feel that I like. You were also very descriptive. Descriptions are always good. After reading the review I had something of a mental picture of what the game looks like. That's always a good sign.

You have potential. Take my advice to heart, clean up some grammatical and spelling errors and you will be well on your way to writing a good review.
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Offline Superluigi77

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Posted By: residentevilrocksI'm already guessing that superluigi77 didn't like it because he didn't answer... :(
I take a while to respond because I give a lot of advice.
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Offline residentevilrocks

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Posted By: superluigi77First of all, I don't think you ever mentioned the name of the game. Another thing that stood out to me was that when you gave your explanations of your grades you said: "Item Placement: 7,5 / 10
The item placement was good, but had some weaknesses
Enemy Placement: 7,5 / 10
The enemy placement was also good, but had 2 weaknesses
Puzzles: 6 / 10
There weren't really many puzzles in the game."

What you should have done was explain what these weaknesses are. You can't just expect us to take your word for it that these weaknesses exist. Same with the puzzles. Always give examples to back up your opinions. This is especially important in the body of your review. Don't just say why something was good or bad. Tell us why it was so by citing an example to back up your opinion.

You seem to try to segue between topics, which is good, but your thoughts still seemed to be a little scattered. You seem to have found your writing voice. Good. Very good. The review had that casual feel that I like. You were also very descriptive. Descriptions are always good. After reading the review I had something of a mental picture of what the game looks like. That's always a good sign.

You have potential. Take my advice to heart, clean up some grammatical and spelling errors and you will be well on your way to writing a good review.


ok. Thanks for the opinion. Maybe in the next hour, I'll edit some parts in the review, until you think it's good. Then, it's ready to be published in Emp's Thread.
 

Offline masterx22

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*bookmarts thread*

 A few mounths ago, i had the perfect review. I checked over it about 20 times, And tweaked it a bit. Right before i pressed the "add you comments" button, my internet messed up, deleteing all the work....

 Im probley ganna make another review soon, and if that happens agian, im throwing this *beep* computer off the empire state building.
 

Offline masterx22

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Also, epic guide.
 

Offline Superluigi77

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Posted By: gameraterz223
Posted By: superluigi77
Posted By: gameraterz223
Posted By: residentevilrocksDid you read it yet? :/


I did! I like it!
Unfortunately, this is not your thread. Either way, just saying that you liked it doesn't help him one bit.


I was just saying. Sorry about that.
I'm very serious in this thread. Because of your comment I added a new rule on the first page, saying that only mainsite reviewers can give advice. I don't want my pupils to be deluded by bad advice.
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Offline residentevilrocks

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TITLE OF REVIEW: He made hell THAT scary!

Introduction
I am going to review "Hell" by electronicus. Firstly, I would like to review this game because I saw electronicus recommended this game to some people, including the .:|WD|:. thread, the [MR] thread, and more. Second, the user had a featured game before which is "Prehistory". I thought first that "Prehistory" didn't really impress me. It was actually pretty short. The cover of the game looks great, and nice. Which is why I'm starting to like this game from the outside. Games are actually pieces of entertainment. So if this entertains me, this game might get a good score.

Gameplay
When I played this, I lost about 4 or 5 times. For me, I think almost all was great. Electronicus did a really good job of making a game that has a touching storyline. From my perspective, touching stories usually add a great part to a game. Another special thing about this game that supported the touching stories was the music. Electronicus had chosen the perfect music for the level, which is like choosing the perfect suit for a businessman. Which is then after level 2, my heart was surprised because electronicus had made a masterpiece. Although, the hazards and the puzzles were a little low challenging. The challenging part about the hazards are the lavas, Thors. Some of the hazards don't really "SUIT IN HELL". Electronicus sometimes add thugs. Well, there might be an explanation for this. Thugs are bad, they are prisoners in hell. But it is not explained why they want to kill you. Well, from computer logic, it's because they are enemies. From MY logic, it's a little weird. Why not just change the thugs into snarleys? Snarleys are the type of enemies that "SUIT IN HELL". Especially Thors, they do. If electronicus had done that, more feeling would be deeply added to the game, making it both entertainment and art, not like unexplainable things like penguins in Egypt. Although the other hazard of lava wasn't so bad. It was challenging. Other enemy hazard placements are good. A hazard in the game involving medic kits and lava was pretty creative. But it isn't really "suitable" for a game. If it isn't really "suitable", the addictiveness of playing the game goes down. Although, the decorations were great, electronicus proved that he can use decorations and blocks to make hell. He put the perfect tile for hell, which is the red tile. Another great decoration was when falling to the tunnel in level 2, which really does feel like falling into sin. Lastly, but not least, after some 8 levels of butt-kicking action, you experience a great refreshing reward, and the music suits the level too!

Conclusion
From my perspective, this is a great game, because it had great enemy placements, great decoration, also good creativity. The game was entertaining and also fun. It is like one of the games that require a strategy to win. Which requires thinking. Electronicus also supported a great story, which made me speechless right now.

Report

Challenge: 7,5 / 10
The challenge of the game is pretty hard, but I managed to beat it after 4 or 5 times of losing.

Item Placement: 7,5 / 10
The item placement was a little too many, so an advice to electronicus would be decreasing some of the medic kits and the lives.

Enemy Placement: 7,5 / 10
The enemy placement was also good, but some of the enemies didn't suit the level, especially the thugs and the robots. The others suit the level and is good-looking.

Puzzles: 5 / 10
There weren't really many puzzles in the game, and the puzzles weren't really challenging too...

Creativity: 9 / 10
Whenever Electronicus got the idea is probably his best time of his life for me...

OVERALL: 41,5 / 50
Five extra points were given by me because the game's specialty is the story, the touching story and the music, which was good.

This has been a review by residentevilrocks.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2011, 12:30 am by residentevilrocks »
 

Offline Superluigi77

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Bump

@Resident  I will look at your revised review later. I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment.
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Offline GFz Ponies

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Want to run my thread with me please? I see your's is more active but I need someone to run mine with. Will you please?
xEddge
 

Offline Superluigi77

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Posted By: okkenyWant to run my thread with me please? I see your's is more active but I need someone to run mine with. Will you please?
You are welcome to post advice on mine. I welcome all reviewers to give advice here. No offense intended, but I want to keep my advice in the thread with my name in it. I put a lot of effort into and I want to continue to put a lot of effort into it.
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Offline Superluigi77

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Offline residentevilrocks

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So you like the review??
 

Offline Superluigi77

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posted by: residentevilrocksThe item placement was good, but some power-ups don't "FEEL" like it and it was a little too many power-ups. What made this go down to 7,5 was an obstacle involving lava and medic kit which is common in some games, and didn't really exactly "FEEL" like it.
This statement confused me. Care to clarify it a bit for me?
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Offline residentevilrocks

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Posted By: superluigi77
posted by: residentevilrocksThe item placement was good, but some power-ups don't "FEEL" like it and it was a little too many power-ups. What made this go down to 7,5 was an obstacle involving lava and medic kit which is common in some games, and didn't really exactly "FEEL" like it.
This statement confused me. Care to clarify it a bit for me?

I changed it already. Whaddaya' think? :D
 

Offline Rooney

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Offline Superluigi77

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Posted By: residentevilrocksPuzzles: 6 / 10
There weren't really many puzzles in the game, that's the only thing I can think of.
If there weren't many puzzles, how come you gave the game such a high puzzle score?
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Offline residentevilrocks

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Posted By: superluigi77
Posted By: residentevilrocksPuzzles: 6 / 10
There weren't really many puzzles in the game, that's the only thing I can think of.
If there weren't many puzzles, how come you gave the game such a high puzzle score?


Good one. I'll give it a 5 / 10 because there were some puzzles but not challenging and not enough. What else should I improve?
 

Offline Superluigi77

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The line you used about games being pieces of entertainment, I'm pretty sure grant used the same line a little while back in a friendly debate with elgamer. This could be a coincidence, but it brings to a cautionary tale I'm sure you've heard about gamecreater17 and the dangers of plagiarism. What he did was copy younguns' (Youngcaliman. It's the nickname we agreed on.) review in the reviewer recruitment thread. This got him banned for life from the thread, meaning he can never be a ms reviewer. If you plagiarize in real life the consequences could be much worse. I'm not saying that you plagiarized that line, I just this as a good opportunity to warn you against it.
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Offline residentevilrocks

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Posted By: superluigi77The line you used about games being pieces of entertainment, I'm pretty sure grant used the same line a little while back in a friendly debate with elgamer. This could be a coincidence, but it brings to a cautionary tale I'm sure you've heard about gamecreater17 and the dangers of plagiarism. What he did was copy younguns' (Youngcaliman. It's the nickname we agreed on.) review in the reviewer recruitment thread. This got him banned for life from the thread, meaning he can never be a ms reviewer. If you plagiarize in real life the consequences could be much worse. I'm not saying that you plagiarized that line, I just this as a good opportunity to warn you against it.

Do you think I would be banned submitting this review?